The mock GCSE exam for year 10 will take place at the end of June. In order to prepare for this you need to make sure you are familiar with the requirements of both exam papers. This week we are focussing on Paper 2: you will be asked to write an essay comparing 2 poems and to produce a piece of descriptive writing.
To prepare for this your first H/W this week is to read the two examples of A/A* poetry essays and post a comment below to show that you have read them. You can access both essays by clicking here.
hi sir the essays i read were really good i just didn't understand what puns and ferlinhgiti meant. An i might need help on comparing poems and structures and stuff like that cause form what i've read, i dont think i can even acomplish a fraction of that.
ReplyDeleteI've read both of the essays, and for the first one, I really liked their use of language and how they display how the structure of both poems really do add alot of effect to the message that would be conveyed to the reader. I also like how they looked into detail at each sentence, and clearly described what they thought that sentence meant. I also appreciate how they have stated the name of the poem that they will be discussing at the start of each paragraph so there is no confusion as to what we are reading. However, I think that they should work on letting the quotes flow into the lines more instead of simply stating where they are from, and then writing the quote.
ReplyDeleteThe second essay was just as good as the first. I again like all of the aspects that I have mentioned above in this poem as the writer has included these in his essay. I also like the thesis statement of this essay quite alot. The introduction to this essay is very straight forward to the reader and tells us exactly what he/she will be discussing. I like how they compare the two poems by saying 'on the other hand', etc... It really tells us what the similarities and differences of the two poems are. Their conclusion is also very simple yet informative and sums everything up really well. Fatima Khan 10D
David Newland 10U
ReplyDeleteI didnt really understand what both of the essays meant so i dont have that much to say on them, i can see that they both describe in detail on how that the structure can help back there point up, this will help me with my essays if i can go in to detail like it does in the two essays.
both essays were really goo for the first one i like how they quoted to back up the statemnets they were making, they used a lot of imagery to convey their point. i also like how they worded what they were saying carefully to explain their ppoints. although they keep on saying in line 17...... or in line 21..... i think insted they should let their qoutes flow with the words, rather than stating plainly. However the way they contrast the poems is nicley put, they link both of them to the point they were making. They also added why they've chosen the poems which makes it more understandable because you'll know what to look for.
ReplyDeleteThe second essay was just as good as the first yet they wrote less. In the five short paragraphs they wrote they managed to explain their points really well. They clearly thought about the structure and the siginficance it had to the poem. They related well to how the characters influenced the set out of the poem. Again they compared two poems which makes their essay all the more arguable. I think this essay was much better than the first as the words flowed carefully and the qoutes didn't seem unnatural they werent saying this line says such and such, rather they used imagainative and discriptive writing to make the qoutes standout and really sends out the message they're trying to convey
some really good points in both essays there as looked deeper into simplistic things and where able to back them up really well but there wherea few aspects of both that i didnt really understand and a few minor spelling mistakes but other than that a jolly good attempt but i still dont think it was a* material.
ReplyDeletefrom your favourite pupil
James Dowling.
Hi sir i have read both essays and i think. Both essays have really good points however you can see the real diffrence between the A and A* essay.I think the first one embeds in quotes better and has more complex ideas
ReplyDeleteHi sir i have read both poems and think that ther first is better therefore it is A*, because it has a better thesis statement and also the person who has written it has used scholar words and written in an informal way, also the first one used qoutes from the poem and merged them into the essay very clearly. The way he/she explained each sentence from the poem they had used in clear detail
ReplyDeleteHi sir, I have read both essays and i think that the first one is the better out of the two because it is A*. I like how the person the write it embeded the quotes from the poems and so it flows clearly and smoothly. ALso, I liked the persons thesis statement and he/she has backed it up.
ReplyDeleteHi sir i have read both poems and think that the first one is better then the second one. As the person has embeded the quotes better and has used a better range of ideas. Whereas the second one has used similar quotes but doesnt't have a great conclusion
ReplyDeleteguy said...
ReplyDeleteive read both poems, and i think the first one is better than the second as it has loads more evidence. the second one dosent really make sense and it has too many weird words in it.
Kajal Says:
ReplyDeleteHi Sir,
Both poems are written very well. The first one in partiular goes into a lot of detail, each line is described very well with an original analysis of the meaning.
The structure of the poem is also written very well, each paragraph has it's individual point, explanation, evidence and link. The structure of the essay makes it's very easy to read and understand. The amount of detail gone into the essay shows a high understanding of the poem. The introduction is well written, clearly stating why both poems have been chosen. The quotes have been embeded into the essay very well too.
The second poem is also very written very well, the essay is much shorter in length yet has everything needed. The detailed analysis is not as in depth as the first, however the comparisson of both poems through out the paragraphs are good.The conclusion is simple yet effective.
ruby said.....
ReplyDeletehi sir, ive read both essays and i like the use of language in the first one. The second one has less text. The first one has better qoutes then the second. I liked the second one because i liked the poems that are used. The first essay has a better conclusion.
Hello Sir,
ReplyDeleteI thought the essays where really good.
In the first one i liked the flow of the thesis throught out the poem. I also liked when it said "text based but also visually inviting means that readers can further create their own interpretation of the poems" i like the idea about interpretation.
I also like how he embeds the lines from the poem into his essay and says how they link.
In the second poem I liked when the person said "“Two scavengers in a truck”, makes great use of colours to describe stark images" I like the way he described the colours of the yellow garbage truck.
I also like the way his conclusion was done, he related back to his thesis about 'connotations'.
I think both essays also used very good sentence variations.
wag1 sir, hows things hope your blessed and tings. anyway:
ReplyDeletei really liked both essays espesialy the first one and id say that was the A* one. i would like you to clarify some sections of the second essay as it never made sense to me:the"‘Island man’ focuses on searching as Island where there is no segregation in a place that is exceedingly beautiful". futher on i didn't understand some words used "egferlinhgiti" the first poem goes into a lot of detail and is extremly well written and analysis the poem well. the second essay compares the 2 poems exceptionaly well.
Heyy sir,
ReplyDeleteI read both of the essay, and found them qutie confusing but good at the same time. the first essay was really good as it embeding the quotations well and analysed them fully. The thing is I do not like the way they set out the Introduction as i do not understand it- it doesn't (to me) cleary state the thesis or the themes of the poem. But overall i find it really good.
The Second poem was ok. i like the way they analysed the poems and keep relating back to the thesis statement it wasnt as clear as the first essay but it was still good. I understood this one much better. But overall I liked the first essay better
hey sir, i read both the poems and i thought the first one was the best, i liked the writers use of structure, and just how they worded it, it was amazing, cause you could understand it without getting really confused :)
ReplyDeletethe second essay was ok, but not as good as the first one, it was simmilar, but worded differently (if yah get my meaning)meaning it didn't sound as good. it was easier to understand, but that didnt nessicerily make it better
overall i liked the first essay better.
Hi sir, how you doing?
ReplyDeleteI think that the first poem has a very inviting introduction that contained clear points and a strong opinion.
The writer has some very clear points and has used evidence to back up his/her points whilst clearly detailing his/her explanation. The embedded quotes from the poems are also fit in really nicely and are effective because as a reader i think that writer of the essay is using the poets words to speak for them- this shows profession.
The conclusion is very short and snappy this makes it effective as it just highlights the point of the essay, the opinion added made me reassured that the writer knew the poems inside out.
The second essay was alot shorter; it was goo but not as good at the first one. I didn't really get what the point of it was and the vocabulary wasn't as complex as i thought it would be. To improve i'd say start with a thesis statement, build on your thesis statement and then make all of your points prove your theseis statement.
Hi sir,i read both poems and think that the first poem clearly shows the answer in the introduction. it also in each paragraph links it back to his answer. The person also uses different language feature to analyse the poem. The poem has good structure by each one has a different point, it also is very well inbedded and this alows the poem to flow.
ReplyDeleteThe second poem has a good analyse but needs to explain more in language feature words, also need to imporve the thesis statement it is not clear.
Hi Sir, i have read both essays, however i really think that the first essay use embeded the quotes and stated where they are from. Further more the writer described every single quete in detail and displayed every interpretation. Also the thesis statement of essay was really clear and refered back to.
ReplyDeleteThe second essay shorter and used less advanced vocubalary compared to the first essay. The thesis statement wasn't clear and it wasn't really refered to. However it was good, hence it was an A grade.
In conclusion these two essays really highlight the diference between an A grade and an A*.
By Mohammed.
In the first one i liked the flow of the thesis throught out the poem.The structure of the poem is also written very well, each paragraph has it's individual point, explanation, evidence and link. The structure of the essay makes it's very easy to read and understand. the second poem is also good but They clearly thought about the structure and the siginficance it had to the poem. They related well to how the characters influenced the set out of the poem. Again they compared two poems which makes their essay all the more debatable. Belinda
ReplyDeleteThe structure of the poem is also written very well, each paragraph has it's individual point, explanation, evidence and link. The structure of the essay makes it's very easy to read and understand.The thesis statement wasn't clear in the second essay. however i like both essays bcus they both express their knowledge of the poem.
ReplyDeletei read the poem and i really liked the way you linked the pee together. i also liked the way you described and link island man and two scavengers in one truck as if they were completely similar. now that i read this essay i know how to write a good essay which makes it easy and clear to understand.
ReplyDelete-Sam Cooper Kay- hi Mr Chatterley i like the first essay because of the complexity and how easy it is to understand, also it uses sophisticated quotes that the second essay doesnt contain. the second essay was easier to understand than the first but wasnt as refined, it also contains less writing. i think the first essay has a better conclusion. =]
ReplyDeleteJamila said...
ReplyDeleteI've read both poems and i think that the first peom was better as it is an A*.the structure of the poem makes it really easy to understand also it has used more qoutes and its written well. the secong essay has less writting and hasn't giving as much evidence and quotes as the first essay.
Max
ReplyDeleteThe A and A* essays They both made some good points and were writtin in good detail when they made there points they were able to back it up well the first, it also had good clear detail another point is it was easier to understand. i thought it was better but thats just my opinion. the second one needs more explanation as it isnt as clear as the first one. anyways its late and i have a headache but atleast i done it.
Hello mr chatterley,
ReplyDeleteI read both essays and enjoyed them alot. The 1st essay has more written and stands out more for me because i like the poem 'island man' it seems as if the first one had more thought put towards it. I'm not surprised it is an A*. although i think the 2nd essay was short and sweet, and is written in a way that is understandable to the readers. Angel.
I dont think i will be able to achieve such high standards.It is so hard and after this i feel even worse.
ReplyDeleteHi Mr Chatterleyi have read both poems and i think the 1st one is better because it has a better thesis statement and also the person who has written it has used scholar words and written in an informal way, also the first one has used quotes. the 2nd essay was short and easy to understand.
ReplyDeleteNemesh
Mr Chatterley its Courtney, I have read both poems and I think that they are both great! however, the first is better. I think this because of the way it flows and the way each section is connected. The first one compared both poems really well. The second one was good as well, just a bit more basic.
ReplyDeleteHI,
ReplyDeleteI have read both poems, and i think the first one is better than the second as it has loads more quotes. The second one is still really good but dosent really make sense and it has too many weird words in it. However they are both really good but the sesond one was just a bit more basic.
hi sir its conor
ReplyDeletei think the first one is better because it uses quotes well . The second is easier to read but doeas not use as many qoutes but compares both poems well
hello sir , from these two poems i saw that my sentence length and the amount of time i spent on one paragraph was too long which was my main problem. The A* had much more writing and detail than the A and is also backed up with stronger points
ReplyDelete