'Imagination is more important than knowledge' - Einstein
GCSE paper 2 section B requires students to inform, explain or describe. This term we have been working on the skills needed when writing to describe. This section of the exam also provides a real opportunity for students to use their imagination and express themselves in a creative way.
As part of your preparation for your mock exam have a look at some responses from students in last year's exam. One is a grade C, the other a grade B. Read both pieces and post a comment suggesting 1) why one is better than the other and 2) how the B grade student could improve to get an A.
Due Tuesday
heyy sir, i think the first essay is better, cause there is loads more description, and because its in paragraphs, with out one line sentances then going on to talk about something else. i think the B grade one needs more sentance variation, punctuation variation and a stronger idea of focusing on different things, not just colour :D
ReplyDeleteHello Sir, I think the B grade sample is better as it described more than the C grade. It elaborated more on the description.It also used paragraphs. The C grade didn't develop the description and just stated it and moved on. It was done in like bullets points.
ReplyDeleteThe B grade could have improved by: a varition in paragraphs and sentence variation. Moreover the writer could have stated more points apart from colour.
By Mohammed
Hi sir, i think the B grade samole is better than the C grade. Because it has a better description, and a decent use of symbolism. The C grade one didn't really have a good description, and just planted points here there and everywhere.
ReplyDeleteHi Sir, i think the B grade one is better because it really uses a lot of symbolism and also imagery. i just think that to improve it to an A/A* the author should focus on something such as light and setting because it focuses a lot on color and nothing else. Also paragraph variation and comparisons (similes and metaphors)
ReplyDeleteThe C grade sample is also good but there is too much paragraph variation (1 line paragraphs) needs to go into more MINUTE DETAIL otherwise very good use of similes and metaphors also imagery and symbolism is used effectively
Hi sir both essay are good in there own ways but the B grade is noticablly better than the C grade. for example the B grade uses alot of colours symbolism effectifly to show his meaning. i think to improve it to the A-A* grades he should of used symbolism of light, landscape and time of day aswell, he could of also used more sentense, punchuation and paragraph variation aswell,but not to much paragraph variation which was the downfall of the grade C essay.
ReplyDeleteHi Sir, I think that both essays are good but obviously the B grade one is the better one. This is because it has used the symbolism of colour effectively and also it has used some kinds od imagery. To improve it to A or A* quality, I think that the essay should include all of the symbolism, more sentence and paragraph variation and use advanced punctuation.
ReplyDeleteHowevr, the C grade essay is also good but needs to work on using symbolism more effectivley, use imagery and paragraph and sentence variation in order that it improves.
Hello Sir,
ReplyDeletei think the b grade was better as it had more sentence variation, metaphors and punctuation. It was also more elaborated.
C was also good but wasn't descirbed as in much detail as B. It also should have used more of SYMBOLISM.
Yes sir i have read both essays and i believe that the first essay is better than the other, because it uses alot more description, aswell as it actualy being in a paragraph format and not unexplained one line sentances which confuse the reader- or maybe thats just me.To sumarise i believe that the first essay was a better piece.
ReplyDeleteSir, i have read both essays and the diffrence between the two is clear to see.
ReplyDeleteThe B essay has vivid description, this is done by sensory imagery,sentence variation and powerful adjectives. These things are lacking from the second essay
the first essay is more descriptive, they've used auditory images, powerful adjectives. the've also uesd sentence variation. th second piece is also decriptive but they used more simple adjectives and has not describe in minute details. overall i like both poems but i think there's always room for improvement.
ReplyDeleteHi Sir,
ReplyDeleteBoth essays are good in their own way, however the B grade essay is written to a much higher standard.
Many aspects are described in minute detail, and imagery is also used. To make it an A/A* grade essay the writter should use more Symbolism - time of day possibly. Furthermore, they should use abstract nouns to add effect.
The C Grade essay can be improved by improving the grammer and punctuation throughout. Moreover, the writter should use Symbolism of Light, Time of day and landscape instead of just concentrating on colour. Also, they should describe more in minute detail, so the reader can visulise better.
Hi sir,
ReplyDeleteI think that both the essays are written quite well however could be written better.
The B grade esaay has been written in minute detail and the writer has used many techniques such as imagery. This helps me to understand the description even more because i can picture myself in it. In my opinion,it could be upgraded to an A/A* grade by the use of more symbolism and more adverbs.
The essay graded C was interesting but overly boring it could be maintained by the use of more imagery, more detail sentences and the decription should be inhanced by mentioning more aspect to what is being decriped. To get a B grade; in my opinion paragraphs should be used to used more frequently through out the essay; too much sentence variation ruins to whole concept.
Hi Sir,
ReplyDeleteBoth pieces can be seen as an average essay but noticably the B grade is better than the C. They both fit their grades and have a clear difference in the style written
The C grade is simple, it uses some symbolism and similies aswell as bits of imagery, but the grammer is not upto scratch, so it could be much better
The B grade is considerably better as there are more uses of the language features. There is a good use of symbolism and imagery used in the essay and even some onomatopieoa
To make the B grade an A/A* I think it needs to be developed more on every minute detail and needs much more description as there is good description but not enough to show off the writers potential of an A or A*
hi sir,
ReplyDeleteI think that the first essay was much better as it gives more imagery and sentence variation and easy to see why this is a B grade essay.
This also gives better description and sticks to it and explains it more.
On the second essay, it give a lot of visual imagery and one gustatory imagery but nothing else, it also give some descriptive sentence but does not stick to it,it also needs to have some sentence and paragraph variation.